RingoSo its the last day of june and that means I have just hours to get a post out, because I made a patreon to keep me honest and somehow people decide giving me money was a good idea. So like…I guess I need to stay honest.
But this is not even gonna be a half assed attempt at anything worthwhile. And my videos will be even less than that. So like…if you want your money back, just message me. Cause I did not fufill this month. And I’m not the least bit sorry.
The world is fucked right now. And my personal world is equally fucked. I don’t have energy for shit beyond getting up and pretending that shit is ok when I know for a fact it isn’t, but like I can’t see it because…well, maybe we’ll get into that.
If you fight melee’s, steel, boffer, rattan, whatever, you may be familiar with a certain oh fuck moment. The one where you cleverly run off away from your team, pulling 2-5 opponents with you and then go full defense turtling up and taking abuse on the hope that this will allow your buddies to wipe the line?
Well that’s what a quarter of America did with covid. Stayed home, wore masks, got tested, went crazy.
And just like melee’s when we popped our head up to see what happened, we saw the rest of the team ain’t done shit. And now our line is getting wiped and we’re just hoping to survive another fucking beating.
Yes, I know that analogy is a stretch. Like I said, not putting much effort into this one.
Here’s another. Ever fight a mass battle and get behind the lines so deep that people just start ignoring you? You can see the enemy fighting and fucking up your team, or maybe your team rolling a line, but you’re kinda just confused and don’t know where you are or how to re-enage and the opponents just let you by cause you aren’t a threat?
That feels like me with BLM. Like what the fuck do I do? How the fuck do I help? I throw some money at bail funds and talk about mine and the country’s racism and try to listen to people of color…but like its mostly just me stumbling around ineffectually swinging at shit. But end of the day it don’t affect me. I don’t deal with cops like ever. I’m white. I’m relatively well off, hell maybe even rich. I live in an area with like no crime. I don’t have to worry bout shit.
Which brings us to the dreaded privilege word. I’m privileged as fuck. I got rich ass parents. I live in state with no crime and consistently low unemployment. I’m educated. I got a good job I don’t deserve and more money than I need by a long shot. And this covid thing? Privileged there too. Barely any cases in my state, despite us not being at all great about this thing, simply due to low population. I mean, we aren’t terrible, but we def aren’t following social distance or mask guidelines.
And we’re still doing ok. So like…I don’t see the world burning, even though I know it is.
The hall opened up recently. 6 people max to a class. Temp checks at the door. Masks required. They’re doing it right…but that doesn’t mean shit wont shut down in a month or two because the rest of the state or country isn’t.
Chances are the US won’t be participating in IMCF cause EU just banned US travel. So I’m back to training and that feels normal…but also not. Cause what am I training for? And how long can I do it? And shit just isn’t under my control, but god damn if I ain’t just skating by on long.
This sport is privileged. It requires alot of disposable income. It requires a healthy fucking body beyond most people and well beyond most handicap limitations. It requires a shit ton of time. That’s true of a lot of sports, but its a thing to be conscious of. We are lucky we get to play. And we should be aware of that.
We’re lucky if we still get to train. And we should be aware of that.
So far we’re lucky we can walk around with weapons and not get shot…we should be aware of that.
I don’t have a thesis. This isn’t advocating any action. This isn’t a position. Its just me frustrated with the fucking world putting some fucking words on paper cause I said I would. I hope you’re surviving this well. Cause I’m fucking not. And I have all the privilege in the world. So how the fuck are other people doing?
Fuck this year.